Most of my childhood friends are married. The two people who know me the best as an adult and who I can't imagine not having in my life, are married. My brother and cousin, two of my best friends, are married. My parents, pictured above 38 years ago on their wedding day: still married. And this weekend I'm excited about celebrating a friend's impending vows. At 30, I am no where near marriage and have never really thought seriously on the subject. But lately, it seems worth talking about.
Over the summer, the California Supreme Court overruled the ban on same-sex marriage. It was a great day. I remember reading a story in the Los Angeles Times about a long-time couple preparing to marry. While shopping, one of the grooms' mothers said the sweetest thing about her future son-in-law: "'Kevin's a 10," Peggy Waters said. "All the women Paul brought home, I never liked. This is still a dream come true.'" I cried. I talked to my brother that week and he said with sincere excitement, "Isn't it great?!" Yeah, it is. I cried again.
This fall, there's a proposition on the ballot to overturn the court ruling. It seems like things are leaning toward most of the state voting No, but it's close, and with Sarah Palin in town over the weekend, I'm sure she's drumming up support for her team. The sad thing is, Barack Obama is kind of on her team too. Sure, he's all for equal rights and opposed Prop 8, but he is against gay marriage. I don't get it. Everyone who gets married is not doing so to uphold ideas and intentions written in the Bible. Some do, and that's fine. Men and women can get married for whatever reasons they choose—money, status, companionship. They don't have to have the "right" reasons to say "I do," although, more times than not, we assume they marry for love. It seems sensible that women and women, and men and men should be free to do the same.
There was a story in yesterday's New York Times about the Manhattan Marriage Bureau, a city office where people get married. The story was about how the office is in the process of upgrading to look a little more festive. What struck me where the several photos that ran with the story. A man in khakis and an oxford and a woman in a skirt and cardigan married each other. One woman got married in a geometric print dress and another chose to wear romantic white ruffles. There was a man wearing sneakers standing next to a woman in knee-high boots. And my favorite, a shot of a couple from the back, both in jeans.
These people all have their reasons to get married, just like the people I know and love who are married. What matters isn't why, but that they all had the choice to be married. And why shouldn't we all?
