Skunk Love

I have referenced my fear of skunks before. It may be irrational, but it is not unfounded. Skunks stink. Skunks spray. If a skunk sprays you, you stink. This would not be good. I think it would be quite terrible.

I remember when I saw my first skunk in the neighborhood. It was dusk and I was driving home from work. He was standing in the middle of the street. As I got closer, he refused to move. I had to swerve at the last minute to miss him. He never budged. It was then that I decided he was out to get me. I named him Damien. I wondered if it fought with the possums or cats in the neighborhood. (I once saw a gang of about six possums stubbornly standing in the same spot in the street. I imagined they were shooting craps.)

My apartment is often invaded by Damien's scent. It is strong enough that he could be sitting across from me on my futon. One morning I walked out to my car and mysteriously, it smelled like skunk. At night, when I hear rustling in the brush below my window, and that smell accompanies it, I imagine it is Damien, coming by to remind me he is out there, waiting for me. Sometimes I imagine he just outside my front door.

I would have been willing to chalk this up to paranoia. But not anymore. Recently, while sitting on my patio reading, I witnessed my neighbor, who lives below me, having a conversation with our landlord, who lives above me.

Neighbor: Good day sir. Your skunk family is back.
Landlord: Is that so?
Neighbor: Yes, they come around 9:30 every night.
Landlord: We used to have a female, male and a little one. You think the family is still together?
Neighbor: I'd like to think so.
Landlord: So would I.

Confirmation! It's true! It's not just me. The skunks do loiter around. I have reason to want to be in before nightfall. I have reason to watch my back.

The funny thing is, I think I may be the only one who is afraid. Clearly my neighbor and landlord were speaking of the skunks with some level of affection. There is a mural underneath a freeway overpass nearby, reflecting scenes of the neighborhood. Quite prominent in the painting is a large skunk. One of my neighbors who lives down the hill actually said to me, "I kind of like the skunks." I was speechless.

Maybe Damien is not out to get me, but I don't like my chances if he ever catches me out after dark.